"I may be a weirdo but I'm not a jerk" -GG 

Gutfeld is on fire tonight

Gutfeld is on fire tonight

"Invasion of the Pot People." -GG

"Invasion of the Pot People." -GG

"You are crazy." -GG

"I'VE HAD IT WITH BUTTERFLIES, KILL THEM ALL." -GG

"They're killing jobs for butterflies." -GG

Gutfeld, O'Reilly, and Mcguirk are a perfect trio, like the three musketeers."

"Once again, O'Reilly has the answer."- Bill O'Reilly

"It's the greatest thing ever made." -GG

"You should see what I'm wearing below the sweater, it's not pretty." -GG

"Yeah I lost interest." -GG 

Banned Phrase: Going Viral 

"I do that when I'm drunk." -GG

"Are we turning into entertainment tonight." -GG 

"Not true." -GG

"Stay with us, and Greg will be cheerful." -KG

"That's interesting."-GG

"Oh I'm not, human beings don't walk around and say "I'm fascinating"." -GG

"It's stupid, it's a waste of time." -GG

"It's not tragic, they died randomly, why are we talking about this guy?" -GG

"We got the joke." -GG

"What happened to your sense of humor, you left it out of the country." -KG

"I guess it's funny, but I get to see this everyday." -GG

"I wasn't there." -GG

"I find this whole thing repulsive." -GG

"I don't get any respect for my football knowledge." -Dana Perino

"When the better robots replace the older robots, where do they go, they have feelings too." -GG

"I can't stand the teenage boys with pants around their ankles." -Bob Beckel

"Pretty soon there will be drone parties." -GG

"If these indeed are miniature drones, you should be the spokesperson." -GG

"They're gonna need air traffic control to handle the number of drones coming to your house." -Bob Beckel

"And I love drones." -KG

"Could drone delivery be in our new future." -GG

"So there ya go 2017, right around the corner." -GG

"I think this is a bright part of the rainbow." -GG

"I think that would be fun." -GG

"I think that would be fun." -GG

"She's carrying a black door." -GG

"It's a good question, they should do more art." -GG

"I didn't sneeze at all." -GG

"I didn't sneeze at all." -GG

"But when I see you my soul brightens up." -GG

"But when I see you my soul brightens up." -GG

"You kept hitting people in the hip." -GG

"Do it and if you don't do it we're going to kill you." -Bob Beckel

"I was just spewing nonsense." -GG

"It really wasn't a question." -GG

"Plummeting faster than a plumber on meth." -GG

"It's day two of the preorder of Not Cool." -GG

"Doesn't that tell you that you're an incompetent boob." -GG

"Oh My God Bolling what have you done." -GG

"They're all white people." -GG

"I was just spewing nonsense." -GG

"It's hell in a hand basket." -GG

I love gregalogues!

"Remember when everyone was on acid?" -GG

"It wasn't really a question." -GG

"Plumbing faster than a plumber on meth." -GG

I need the new GG book! 

I need the new GG book! 

Banned Phrase of The Day: Folks

LOL at Greg's new phone case

"Stick around or Dana will suffocate a hamster." -GG

"I hate you. if I ever see you again, I will hunt you down. I will set your pants on fire." -GG

"I hate these people." -GG

"I thought you were a libertarian?" -KG

Liberals taking about me and the debate we had earlier to random people. 

Some liberals are really nice, can't believe I just said that. 

Had a debate on gun control in one of my classes, let's just say that people now won't speak to me. I was right, I still am right, and may think I always will be, but I won't. If you have a problem with that them goodbye. 

"He looks like he overdosed on Botox." -GG

"The guy with the artificial straightened hair." -GG

So now Spongebob is a republican

Now he needs to be on "O'Reilly Factor

Greg is on "On the Record" this is great!

"Now its the laxative." -GG

"It's great to be here Greta." -GG

"That's it for the five, now go punch someone in the face." -GG

"I'm on everybody's meds." -GG

"I'm tasteless." -GG

"Is Bob talking into your earpiece." -KG

"Oh here we go again." -KG

"Oh here we go again." -KG

"It's called a hangover monologue." -GG

"Obama has gone from cloud nine to punch line." -GG

"Unable to poop a single quip." -GG

The CMA's dissing ObamaCare is the best thing ever!

The CMA's dissing ObamaCare is the best thing ever!

"That's like an Obama voter complaining about ObamaCare." -GG

Look out South, I'm thinking of starting a Young Americans for Liberty club #LibertarianSwag #GregBannedSwagButItsNecessaryForThisEvent 

I just narrowed down my list of potential universities based on if they had a College Libertarians Chapter or not.

Such a bad blogger, I apologize.

"If I listened to everyone I offended, I wouldn't have time to offend them."  -GG

"If you won't work, you mynas well twerk." -GG

I love meeting someone to find that they too love politics #TheStoryOfMyLife 

"Dana Perino's barbie bike has a cup holder for vodka." -GG

1 in 6 Americans are on Welfare...WHAT?

"This weekend i'm actually heading to Franks Vineyard. It's a little pub down the road." -GG

"Hipper than thou late night T.V." -GG

"So there ya go." -GG

"Apparently Martha is a very important person, God bless her." -GG

"Give my best to the dog." -GG

"I do, cause i'm a rotten person." -GG

Greg is hosting O'Reilly, I love this!

Dana is on O'Reilly tonight

"And he hates that it hurts his popularity." -GG

"ISN'T THIS A CRIME...I DON'T LIKE DARE DEVILS. DON'T EVEN SAY THAT ERIC, DON'T EVEN SAY THAT." -GG

"I want to see Jasper swim." -GG

"It's a club on tenth street." -GG

"Being this awesome is exhausting." -KG

"How will I survive?" -GG

"If you leave now I will hunt you down and TP your home." -GG

"I am opinionated." -GG

I like how Greg calls Kimberly KG

"Bob Bob Bob it's the academics." -GG

"Only the sane use the insanity defense." -GG

"His earring makes the murderous crime seem so much more (didn't hear)" -GG

"Is that on libretarian island?" -Kimberly Guilfoyle

"It's kinda cool to be a thug!" -GG

"He's a scary dude you know?" -GG

"The resent button has become a joy button." -GG

"He may be the president of Banana Republic." -GG

"What a bunch of baby games." -GG

Oh no Bob, you did not just put down Ronald Reagan.

You need to get you're priorities in line, going on vacation and talk shows isn't the thing you should be doing right now.

NoBama

I may move to Canada, I can't take this anymore.

When can we get rid of Obama, I mean when can a new person be president?

I should be watching the Five right now, oh well I guess I will have to stay up an watch it at 2 am

I want to be GG's assistant.

Loyola is calling my name

My family is worried about me, all I do is blog and talk about Harry Styles(Jokes)

G(greg)G(gutfeld)F(fans)A(anonymous)

I think I need to go to GGFA.

"KG you have a problem with that?" -GG

"Whats the problem with over crowding?" -GG

Being a Libertarian is the best thing ever.

Go http://site.defendingthedream.org

My life will change when I meet Greg Gutfeld.

Who is going to the Defending the American Dream Summit in Orlando, Florida?

I love GG

This is happening, like no joke.

I found out that people I go to school with watch Fox News. I obviously had to tweet them telling them how much of an addict I am. I scared them off. This is Why I blog instead of have friends.

Whenever I miss The Five, I cry a little

"You can't keep feeding America poop and telling them its Godiva." -GG

"I was a stunt man or a stunt smurf." -GG

"We are open for business." -GG

"She naps on the sun deck of her Barbie dream house."-GG

'If you're hearts in the right place you can put your organ wherever you want." -GG

The Joy of Hate IS the best book ever.

"It's the best book ever, look at that face." -GG

"Everyone wants to find the new best excrement they can get."-GG

"Don't date Charlie Sheen." -GG

"My favorite kind of excrement." -GG

"I got a review coming soon." -Bill Schulz

"I regret every minute of it." -GG

Lightning Rouuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddddddd
Lightning Round

"I love how in the prompter it said 'pause for gay dance party' and we all just sat there."

Do you really need an app to tell you how long the line is at the bathroom.

PSS

"The pre selfie selfie."

Wein-While

"And  other things I can't say, because my pet stingray is watching. Hi corporal flap jacks!"-GG

GG=Greg Gutfeld

"So if we bring back the Wholly Mammoth, you will commit suicide?"-GG

Hang on while I laugh until I cry

"What is better than an elephant, a harry elephant. It's simple math."

"Let's not go full Wholly Mammoth." -GG

"I love you"-Greg just whispered casually he was obviously talking to sidekick.

Why would anyone want to genetically engineer a wholly mammoth?

LOLZ, why was Greg scratching his head for so long, does he have lice?

Kimberly is on Red Eye!

YAYYYY RED EYE IS ON

"You're not in a gang or an entourage, so pull up your pants."

Banned Phrase: "The way we roll"

Happy Birthday to Eric's son, Chase, and Bob's daughter, Mackenzie!

"What's the most popular book at Gitmo this summer, and it's not The Joy of Hate." -Greg Gutfeld

Greg's monologue was fantastic, but it always is.

"Can I start my monologue?" -Greg Gutfeld casually asks

Where did that come from Bob?

Watching The Five at 2?

The book I was writing just deleted itself. I am in shock. I have spent 6 maybe 7  hours a day working on this story, and I have been working on it for over a month. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

"You are a sick person."

SALMON

I love greg's monologues

"Is he building a tower using unicorn flatulence." -Greg Gutfeld

Can Red Eye please be on, like now.

Greg is so strange

"Oh I love babies."-Greg Gutfeld

banned phrase:
"out of the office"

Yeah go Greg

"I'm a white guy on television." -Eric Bolling

"You're a tan guy on television." -Greg Gutfeld 

I can't believe that Bill O'Rilly said that.

I missed 25 minutes of the five.

Monsieur Gutfeld

Dana and Greg are actually my favorite people ever.

Bob Beckel is so mean

Greg During the Five:
Looks here

Looks there

Looks back there 

Waves to person outside

Looks right in camera 

Looks here

Dana is hosting Red Eye tonight

I just found all of Bill O'Reiley's books...and theres a Glenn Beck one too...yep i just bought all of them.

Political humor is actually the best thing ever.

"...But what do I know anyway." -Greg Gutfeld

Greg is so funny..hold on let me cry for a few minutes

"Zimmerman is shaddier than an oak tree." -Greg Gutfeld

"And she just enjoyed a salad of kittens." -Greg Gutfeld

I cried when I missed the Fourth of July episode of the Five

The only good thing about today is the fact that there will be a special episode of The Five!

Happy "Independence" Day

Red Eye is actually really funny

Greg Gutfeld is my hero.

Bob Beckelitis-a form of extreme liberalism.

Greg wears the same exact thing every single day...does he care...no

The Five is so funny...LOLZ

I don't think Obama and Putin are friends

Is red eye on tonight...stupid question...I know the answer

they are cool

Want to know my feelings about republicans?

Greg banned swag a while back...but I thought all the cool kids said it #confused

My goal this summer is to see every episode of the Five...and record Greg's banned word of the day

My goal this summer is to see every episode of the Five...and record Greg's banned word of the day

I hate the weekends...the Five isn't on

I want to meet Greg Gutfeld.

It's friday night and I am sitting alone in my  bedroom on foxnews.com...lolz I have friends

Should I get a twitter for this blog?

I want to be on the five, but then it would be the six at six

My night consists of The Joy of Hate, and well this blog

Geraldo Rivera has a very voluminous mustache

 Glenn Beck :(

"Just because I live in a tree house in you're backyard doesn't mean I'm poor." -Greg Gutfeld

Did anyone see Greg on O'Reilly last night, classic Greg

Greg is hosting O'Reilly Factor tonight...Yay

Greg Gutfeld is almost as cool as Glenn Beck.